Como Macaulay Culkin en El buen hijo: what did I do as a child?

Was I, as a child, an evil little devil like Macaulay Culkin in The Good Son? If not, I can't explain it. That question is the heart of the song, and it seems to me one of the most tragicomic ways I've found to talk about something that really hurts.

Anyone who remembers the film knows which child it means: the sweet-faced little angel who was actually a monster. The song uses that image to wonder whether everything that happens to the narrator as an adult is some kind of karmic punishment for something he did as a kid. It's absurd logic, of course, but it's the logic that shows up when you can't find an explanation for why everything is so hard for you.

The lyrics complain about something very specific. Why do people go out with friends, have dates, sex and encounters with strangers with apparent ease, while for me it's so hard, it hurts so much. That stretched-out vowel in «taaaaanto» ("soooo much") says more than any explanatory verse.

There's one concept that comes back twice and gives weight to everything: interrupted innocence. The narrator's mind is convinced he would have gone very far if that hadn't happened. What happened isn't told, and it doesn't need to be. It's enough to know that something broke early and its consequences are still there.

The second part is the routine of starting over: being tested again on whether you're good or bad in bed, whether people like the way you kiss, crying at night until gone one o'clock because someone remarked that you're not their type. It's very raw and also very recognisable to anyone who's used dating apps with their self-esteem at rock bottom.

I like that the song doesn't get solemn. The humour of comparing yourself to a child from a nineties horror film means you can listen to the sadness without it dragging you under.

I'd dedicate it to anyone who feels they're running late in their love life and blames themselves for it. You weren't an evil child. Put it on one of those nights, and at gone one o'clock, switch it off and go to sleep.

The full lyrics are below. Listen on Spotify