Gofio de calcetín, or how to see off a cushion boyfriend

I hope he chokes on the Canarian gofio (a toasted-grain flour that's a staple of the islands). That's what I said, or rather, what the narrator of this song says, and apparently a certain person took it very badly. The lyrics start right there, with the comment already made and the offended party already offended, and instead of apologising, they raise the stakes.

I love that starting point. The song doesn't get lost telling us the whole relationship: it starts with the consequence, with the other person's anger, and from there unfolds the protagonist's attitude. If you like, I'll read you my diary. I don't need a secretary, I'm a businessman. They're short phrases, almost a WhatsApp argument, and among them slip in those «Mmmmmm» that work like a snort, like someone rolling their eyes before answering.

There's a more serious moment, when the narrator asks not to be made to go back to how things were before, to those oaths the other used to swear even on his parents' memory. It's a brief line, but it shows that beneath the joke there's real weariness.

Cojín, calcetín

And then comes the chorus, which is pure economy: I don't want another cushion boyfriend («novio cojín»), because the one I had ended up at the level of a sock («calcetín»). I find the image hilarious. The cushion boyfriend is the one who's just there, soft, decorative, contributing little more than bulk on the sofa. And the sock, well, you can imagine: something that gets lost in the washing machine, ends up unpaired, that nobody really misses. The rhyme is so simple it sticks the first time, and repeated three times it sounds almost like a spell.

The gofio in the title is what gives the whole business its Canarian flavour. A traditional food turned into a projectile, and mixed with a sock, which is the least appetising thing I can think of.

For me it's a light song, the kind you listen to while tidying the house after a break-up and deciding that the cushions stay, but the cushion boyfriend doesn't. If someone has told you you're too rude because of a comment, this one proves you right with a smile.

The full lyrics are further down. Listen on Spotify