Ojete Calor en versión low cost: an A&E visit with a tall tale

«Doctor, doctor, me duele mucho al mear.» ("Doctor, doctor, it really hurts when I pee."). With that plea begins one of the most embarrassing episodes on PLANETA GAYFOLK, and I say it with my head held high, because embarrassment, done right, is pure comedy.

The situation fits on a Post-it. A guy with a urine infection turns up at hospital. The doctor, very professional, diagnoses that he's caught a chill. And he nods. But to us listeners he tells the truth: no draughts at all, the culprit is two Cialis pills taken before a chem party. That little fib in the consulting room seems to me one of the most human things I've written. Who hasn't touched up the official version in front of a white coat?

The chorus repeats the complaint without any shame, with that very schoolyard word, «pilila» (willy), which turns the drama into a joke. I love the contrast: a very adult matter, of long parties and chemicals, told with the vocabulary of a child who has grazed his knee.

The niche he was looking for

The last part is almost an artist's confession. The narrator apologises in case he's offended anyone and admits he's looking for his niche. And he finds it in a very specific place: something in the style of Ojete Calor (the Spanish comedy-pop duo), but in a low-cost version. For me that line sums up a big part of my universe: self-parody, cheek, a street party on a flea-market budget and a lot of affection for the references that have made us laugh.

When to put it on? When a friend tells you they ended up in A&E over something they didn't dare confess to the doctor. Over Sunday lunch after a Saturday that went on too long. Or simply when you feel like laughing at yourself before someone else does.

The moral, if one is needed: wrap up warm. Even though we both know the cold had nothing to do with it.

The full lyrics are further down. Listen on Spotify