Narci de cutre culebrón: my rap to unmask a dark-haired hunk

One day I got into rap. Just like that, without warning. And the song itself admits it from the first line: I know I'm going to be criticised, that obviously I'm not Bizarrap, and even so here we are, rhyming as if my life depended on it.

That opening really makes me laugh because it gets ahead of the comments. Before anyone says anything, the lyrics have already put on the bandage, made the joke with the producer's name by splitting the syllables and quoted Leire to explain the reason: it needs to get things off its chest. Some lyrics are born to make people fall in love and others to drop dead weight; this one clearly belongs to the second group.

And who's it aimed at? The guy who goes cruising and strips off in a bush, someone with an undercover profile whom even his own circle has ended up seeing through. The narrator takes on the role of an after-lunch detective: someone who has pulled the thread and uncovered the whole thing.

Moreno, morenito, morenón

The chorus is a ladder of augmentatives that sounds like a compliment and ends in a verdict. Moreno, morenito, morenón (dark-haired guy, little dark-haired guy, dark-haired hunk)... and suddenly, the twist: «¡Era una falsificación!» ("He was a fake!"). I love how that fall is built, because for three words it seems we're going to flatter someone and in the end what we do is lift his mask.

And then there's the title, which for me is half the song: narci de cutre culebrón, a narc from a tacky soap opera. That mix of narcissism and afternoon telenovela, with predictable plot twists, a papier-mâché villain and wobbly sets. Love life sometimes looks far too much like those serials, and the best thing you can do is give it a soundtrack and laugh at the final episode.

The repetition of the chorus towards the end works like a mantra. The more you listen, the clearer it is that there's no second season here.

I'd dedicate it to you if you ever found out that the profile driving you crazy was pure emotional Photoshop. Listen to it with your sunglasses on, even at night. The rap may not be perfect, but it certainly gets things off its chest.

The full lyrics are further down. Listen on Spotify