Me he enamorado de un policía que es dueño de una lavandería

I did what I shouldn't have, again. With that repeat offender's confession begins the song with the longest title in this batch, and I think in all of PLANETA GAYFOLK: Me he enamorado de un policía que es dueño de una lavandería (I've Fallen in Love with a Policeman Who Owns a Laundrette).

The title is already a whole script. A police officer who also runs a business full of washers and dryers, with a stunning wife and well-mannered kids. In other words, the most unattainable man possible, with the uniform and the laundry basket at the same time. I love the absurdity of the combination, which sounds like an afternoon TV series.

I don't like cops, but...

The second verse has a lot of humour. The narrator admits he doesn't like cops and remembers the first time they took the weed he had hidden in a very inadvisable place. But this cop is something else: a hunk, a total revolution. He offers him a coffee out of courtesy and the narrator blushes so much that all he manages to say is «Tranquilo, estoy bien» (Don't worry, I'm fine). That moment of clumsiness seems to me the most tender part of the song.

There's a play on words I find very funny: the policeman offers him change, like in any laundrette, to activate the seventy degrees of passion. The washing machine turned into a metaphor, and the programme temperature into a thermometer of desire.

And the ending is pure mischief. What to do? The narrator considers smoking a joint inside the laundrette, on purpose, so the cop takes him to the station and there, well, the lyrics spell it out: get up to a lot of dirty stuff. It's a completely brazen fantasy, and the song tells it with the ease of someone discussing Saturday's plans.

This song is a joke, of course, and a letter of impossible love at the same time. I'd dedicate it to you if you've ever fallen for the wrong person in the most everyday place: the supermarket, the gym, the local laundrette. Put it on while you wait for the spin cycle to finish. And no, I don't recommend following the plan at the end.

The full lyrics are below. Listen on Spotify