Manual de escape de un narci: instructions for getting out unscathed

Step one: don't give him a reaction. That's how practical this track is, presenting itself from the first line as a recipe. A manual, literally (the title means "Escape Manual from a Narc"), for anyone who has run into a narcissist and doesn't know how to get out.

And the good thing is that it works as one. Every verse is a piece of advice, and they're all the kind you learn the hard way.

The rules

The first has already been said: his game is drama and his weapon is emotion, so if you give him nothing, his ego melts. The second, never believe him, because he plays the victim and then stabs you. The third, the hardest: if he threatens to leave, open the door for him. He swears he's going, but never quite goes away, and if he comes back crying and begging forgiveness it means he already has another plan.

There's a verse I find especially lucid, the one that anticipates what he'll tell you: that nobody is going to love you, that without him you won't manage. It's the typical line, the one that does the most damage. And the song answers it with an image I love: when he sees you happy and unafraid, he'll bite his nails and swallow his ego.

The chorus sums up the whole philosophy. Don't fall for his game, let him talk, and remember that «su mayor castigo es verte brillar» ("his greatest punishment is seeing you shine"). There's no need for revenge or arguments. Never fight, never explain, says another verse, because explaining yourself is exactly what he wants. And in the end, the most modern and effective solution: block the number, block the face. He'll find another victim, but you're already out.

The song closes with a "game over" that sounds like a finished video game. And then, surprise, it changes completely. A soft coda arrives, almost a murmur, with a nod to Madonna's Frozen: if I could melt your heart, we'd never be apart. You're frozen. I find that ending beautiful, because it adds a layer of sadness to so much strategy. Behind the manual there was someone who truly tried to melt that frozen heart, and couldn't.

Send it to the friend who keeps answering the messages of the wrong person. Or put it on for yourself every time you're tempted to unblock a number.

The full lyrics are further down. Listen on Spotify