By Mike Sain't Louis ·
Esperma: from legend to vomit, with a designer swimsuit in the middle
«Has pasado de mito a vómito.» (You've gone from legend to vomit.) That's how the song says goodbye, with congratulations on a promotion that is really the fastest demotion in history. And getting there is a journey full of spite and belly laughs.
The starting point is ironic. A supposed joy at how much the other person cared, at how much he has suffered and cried, which nobody believes. He told him he's disgusting, and the lyrics admit with impeccable logic that hearing that is no reason to feel lucky. Even so, he prefers to keep quiet, because, after all, he's already been caught. Talking more would only make him screw it up even further.
The song talks about almost seven years sleeping together and an ending that deserves silence and punishment. No tender farewells: not a kiss or a last hug for the flea-market coordinator, as he calls him, with that fine contempt that only comes out when someone has truly let you down.
Then Antonio Recio enters the scene, the character from La que se avecina, with his famous tras, tras, tras, por detrás (behind, behind, from behind). The lyrics use it as a catchphrase to hint at what has been going on behind everyone's back, and top it off with a trakatrá that sounds like a gossip machine gun.
And then comes the chorus that names the track. Well, well, look how the so-called sweetheart behaves. You've been stained with sperm, and in case there's any doubt, synonyms from every register are provided. What got stained? The designer swimsuit. That object that comes back again and again in my break-up songs takes its final blow here. It's explicit, yes, and also very funny for how specific it is: you don't cry over your heart, you cry over your swimsuit.
It's a way of laughing so as not to scream. Of naming what happened, spelling it out in full, and closing the door without drama.
Listen to it when you've been let down and need something stronger than a ballad. And if someone around you is scandalised, remind them that you weren't the one who stained the swimsuit.
The full lyrics are below. Listen on Spotify
Lyrics · Esperma
La verdad es que me ha encantadolo mucho que te ha importadoCuánto has sufrido y lloradoY la verdad es que no lo siento tantosi te ha molestado que te haya dicho me dasascoLa verdad es que te digan que das ascoNo es para sentirse afortunadoAún así prefieres estar calladoPorque pensarás, total, siya me han pillado
¡Como hable de más la voy a cagar todavía aún más!Ese chico con el que he dormido casi siete añosHa sido tan malo conmigoQue se merece el silencio y el castigo
Pero sabes qué te digoCoordinador de mercadillono me voy a despedir ni con un besoY no te voy a dar ni un último abrazo
Como diría Antonio Recio,Tras trasTras trasTras trasPor detrásTus respuestas no tienen precioTrakatráTrakatráTrakatráY Como diría Antonio Recio,Tus respuestas no tienen preciopor detrásVaya vaya , el trozo de pan como se las gastaTe han manchado de¡esperma!Sí, sí, sí, has escuchado bien¡esperma! o como quieras llamarloleche, semen , lefa¡Mi bañador de marca!Vaya vaya , el trozo de pan como se las gastaTe han manchado de¡esperma!¡Mi bañador de marca!
Pero sabes qué te digoCoordinador de mercadillono me voy a despedir ni con un besoY no te voy a dar ni un último abrazo
Como diría Antonio Recio,Tras trasTras trasTras trasPor detrásTus respuestas no tienen precioTrakatráTrakatráTrakatráY Como diría Antonio Recio,Tus respuestas no tienen preciopor detrásVaya vaya , el trozo de pan como se las gastaTe han manchado de¡esperma!Sí, sí, sí, has escuchado bien¡esperma! o como quieras llamarloleche, semen , lefa¡Mi bañador de marca!Vaya vaya , el trozo de pan como se las gastaTe han manchado de¡esperma!¡Mi bañador de marca!
Felicidades por tu ascenso.Has pasado de mito a vómito.
Y tú solito.
¡Qué bonito!
Lyrics as published with the official music video, on the MIKE SAIN'T LOUIS label.