By Mike Sain't Louis ·
Asqueroso coordinador: revenge has Paco León's face
Since I know it bothered you so much that I fancied Paco León... That's how the revenge begins, and I can't think of a more elegant way to pay back infidelity than dedicating an entire music video to your platonic crush.
Asqueroso coordinador (Disgusting Coordinator) is one of those spite songs in which the protagonist has already been through the crying stage and reached the bitter-laughter stage. He doesn't care how the other one watches his video: while having two cups of coffee, while in the bathroom or while tripping over his flip-flops. The lyrics revel in that list of ridiculous situations with a very neighbourhood kind of humour.
Paco, Carmina and a mother-in-law dream
The second verse is the one I like most. If only I'd had Carmina Barrios as a mother-in-law. With Paco León I really would have been happy, going from event to event, always his devotion. It's an affectionate and very exaggerated tribute, with a racy detail or two about what a simple brush could provoke, that makes me laugh every time. It seems to me the campest possible way of telling someone you don't miss them: dreaming out loud about another family.
The chorus is more direct and addresses the ex with less-than-affectionate titles, including that «coordinador de mercadillo» (street-market coordinator) which still strikes me as a very refined insult. The narrator boasts of being clever and classy, and reminds the other one that he has no future as a fortune-teller. He even asks the online press to publish the farewell, as if it were an exclusive.
On the second round of the chorus comes the most emotional part. They left him to die in the mud, they gave him up for dead. And the answer is one of my favourites on the whole album: «lo que estoy es resucitado» (what I am is resurrected). Pretty angry, jilted too, but alive and eager to tell the tale.
It's a song for anyone who has left a relationship in which they were belittled and needs a good laugh at the one who hurt them. Play it at full volume while you get ready to go out, and if you fancy revisiting a Paco León film along the way, all the better.
The full lyrics are below. Listen on Spotify
Lyrics · Asqueroso Coordinador
Verso 1:Como sé que te molestaba tanto que me molara Paco León,esta es mi venganza por infiel,mi último videoclip. Esta es mi venganza.Lo puedes ver mientras te tomas dos tazas de café,o mientras cagas.Por mí, como si te desmayas o te tropiezas con las cholas,o se te encoge la polla o te rompes los dientes.Me da igual porque solo mientes, mientes y mientes.
Estribillo:Que lo publique OkDiario: ¡Hasta nunca, bastardo!¿Sabes qué te digo, coordinador de mercadillo?Te pensaste que era un pardillo,pero es que soy muy inteligente y también muy fino.Lo que está claro es que no eres muy buen adivino,pero sí eres, aparte de mentiroso y falso, también un cretino.Adiós, bastardo.
Verso 2:Ojalá hubiera tenido de suegra a Carmina Barrios.Con Paco León sí que hubiera sido feliz, un sueño,de Paco León yo hubiera sido siempre su devoción.Y yo con Paco, hubiera estado casi todo el día empalmado,pues me pasaba cuando pasaba por mi lado y simplemente me había rozado.Con Paco hubiera sido siempre mi momento,de evento en evento.
Estribillo:Y de ti, ¿hablo? Si me dejaste morir en el barro, egoísta bastardo.Te pensaste que ya estaba muerto, pues no, lo siento,lo que estoy es resucitado.Y bastante cabreado. También despechado.Y tú cazado y señalado.Por cabrón, asqueroso coordinador.
Lyrics as published with the official music video, on the MIKE SAIN'T LOUIS label.