I Have Said “It's Not You, It's Me” and Meant the Opposite. Mike Sain't Louis Made Me Hear It Properly for the First Time

Madrid, 25 October 2026. I should confess something before I start. I have said “it's not you, it's me” at least twice in my life, and on both occasions I meant the exact reverse. It was you. I just didn't fancy the argument. I suspect most of you reading this have done the same, or had it done to you over a lukewarm pint or a message sent far too late at night.

So when I read that Mike Sain't Louis had built a whole song around that phrase, I rolled my eyes a little. Then I read his blog post about it, and then I read the lyric, and I had to sit with it for a while.

Who he is, briefly

For anyone who hasn't come across him: Mike Sain't Louis is an indie alternative artist based in Madrid who describes himself as “the first AI singer-songwriter”. He writes every one of his lyrics; the music and the vocal performance are made with artificial intelligence, which he uses as a production and arrangement tool. The words, the idea and the artistic direction are his. He runs his own independent label, MIKE SAIN'T LOUIS, with no record company behind him, and over roughly two years he has released 273 singles and more than 280 music videos under the banner PLANETA GAYFOLK. A lot of people found him in 2024, when “Tan Cateto” went viral on TikTok.

The phrase, used backwards

What caught me is the direction of the line. In every break-up song I know, “it's not you, it's me” is the polite thing you say on your way out. In “Scott Bonehill” it is said by someone who wants to stay. Nobody is leaving. The narrator is asking for patience, and instead of shifting the blame elsewhere, he takes all of it on his own back.

Mike puts it neatly on his blog: read literally, the phrase is rather honest. It says the problem lies with the speaker. It's the overuse that has ruined it, not the meaning. And the song, he argues, rescues that literal meaning. When you can't find your own words, you reach for the inherited ones, and sometimes, put in exactly the right place, they go back to saying what they said in the first place.

I found that quietly moving. I have spent years treating that sentence as a lie by default. It hadn't occurred to me that someone might actually mean it.

The furniture conversation

The situation behind the song is one I suspect many of my friends will recognise. One half of a couple proposes opening the relationship, and proposes it, as Mike describes it, the way you might suggest moving the sofa to the other wall. Casually. As if it were obviously the next sensible step. The other half is not ready.

What the song defends, and what his blog post defends more explicitly, is the right to say exactly that: I am not ready for something that everyone around me seems to find perfectly normal. That's a less fashionable position than it ought to be. There's a kind of pressure, in some gay circles and well beyond them, to treat any hesitation as old-fashioned or insecure. “Scott Bonehill” doesn't argue with anyone's choices. It just insists that “not yet” and “not for me” are allowed answers too.

Self-esteem on the table

The second verse gives the reason, plainly: self-esteem is on the floor. No dressing up, no justification. Mike compares it to putting a medical report on the table.

This is the bit that stayed with me longest. He points out that naming that inside a relationship has real value, because so many couples fall apart over things nobody ever says aloud. One person withdraws, the other drifts, and by the time anyone speaks there's nothing left to save. Here, at least, someone says it in time. It may not help. But it gets said.

He is also honest about the uncomfortable side. Using your own low self-esteem as an argument can sound like sincerity or like emotional blackmail, depending on the day and on who's listening. The lyric doesn't decide for us. “No moral printed on a breakfast mug,” as he more or less puts it. I appreciated that. Pop songs love to turn fragility into either a superpower or a tragedy. This one just leaves it there as a fact, like the weather.

Don't push me if you won't hold me

The third verse pairs two ideas that land like a soft slap: a plea not to be pushed to the limit, and a complaint that the other person no longer even hugs him. Put together, they describe with uncomfortable precision how relationships go cold. Touch disappears first. The demands keep coming.

The full lyric is published, and it's worth reading in one go, top to bottom, rather than in fragments. There is also a broader context worth knowing. Mike has spoken publicly about turning years of relationships with narcissistic partners into music, with professional support, to make psychological abuse and its marks on mental health visible, so that people living through it feel seen and believed. “Scott Bonehill” isn't that story, but it shares its instinct: say the uncomfortable thing clearly.

Why I'd recommend it here

British audiences have a long, proud tradition of not saying what we mean. We apologise when someone else treads on our foot. A song about a man who finally says exactly what he means, using the very phrase we all use to avoid doing so, felt almost like a dare. If you've ever been on either side of the furniture conversation, give it a listen and then read the words.

Where to listen

All of Mike Sain't Louis's music is free to stream and download at https://mikesaintlouis.com, with full lyrics for every song. It's also on Spotify, Deezer and the main platforms. His own post on the song is here: https://mikesaintlouis.com/blog/no-es-por-ti-es-por-mi-las-excusas-del-que-no-esta-preparado-en-scott-bonehill

About Mike Sain't Louis

Lyricist, composer, music producer, artistic director and CEO of his own independent label, Mike Sain't Louis makes queer alternative pop from Madrid that moves between electropop, copla and ballad, with humour, camp and no censorship. His GAYFOLK trilogy, “Descubierto un nuevo planeta llamado GAYFOLK”, “Ojalá se pudiera viajar a GAYFOLK” and “El día de la liberación”, imagines a journey to a planet where everyone can live exactly as they are.

Press contact

Email: info@mikesaintlouis.com Website: https://mikesaintlouis.com Instagram: @planetagayfolk